Do Really Today We Need a Purpose To Maintain Relationships?

We are living in a time when, if you call someone, talk to them and call them without any purpose, there is a strong chance that he would mind it or he will say, ' Do not you have anything to do, why are you calling me?'. When you call and ask about his health, he will do the same. After which, he will  expect you to tell him your purpose of calling or some information, because the relationship has a purpose.

Whenever a person tries to make a relationship, it has a purpose. I tell you, from the western perspective, relationship has a purpose and it is alright for them, there is no problem with it. It is their worldview. 

I am trying to tell you, in our religious perspective; relationship itself is the purpose In the west, relation is conditioned with a purpose, here, relationship is the purpose You call your neighbour to inquire, 'How are you? Is everything fine with you and your family, I have not seen you Therefore I thought to ask you if everything is fine with you. I have not seen you in a while in Majid or Market. So, I just wanted to ask if everything is good at your end. 

Do let me know if I can be of help. So, is this an obligation or a Sunnah or volunteer act? If Muslims are asked this question as an MCQ, they will say, this act is none of these. I sometimes think of the time, it is my personal experience and observation of my life, I am sharing with you. When I was child, almost 40 years ago from today, in 1980, yes I remember it was 1980. The neighbour   hood where I live and it is Allah's Mercy that I live in the same neighborhood where I was born,  this is a blessing of Allah for meb40 years ago, in this neighbour hood there were almost 40 families living. 

There were about 40 families in our neighbour hood; only two of those families had a telephone at their home.  But, the remaining 38 families used to receive phone calls on those two telephones and trust me these forty families were living like one family. Believe it, with great responsibility, happiness, and enthusiasm those people used go and call the respective person to attend the call and that person would talk comfortably while sitting there. At that time, the international calls were booked calls and not the direct one.

 It used to be a 3-minute call. 

The caller would ask the attendant to please go and call  

Razia appa, I am her sister from Muscat  or I am calling from Libya. The attended would quickly go to call Razia Appa. She would come and wait for the call and in the meantime, they would chit chat and have a cup of tea together. 

There was so much happiness among those 40 families and the relation between these families was exceptional and a lot of love existed. Believe it, all was done with interest, enthusiasm and responsibility.

 A few days ago, I was sitting in a gathering  and I said, Everyone sitting here, has a mobile phone in their pocket and if any of the 10-12 people sitting here, if anyone's mobile phone starts ringing again and again and receive a call for everyone present here. 

Then after a few times, he will get irritated and say, ' Why are they calling on my number?' He will feel weird. But, those two families knew, whose uncle 

have how many children, whose aunt lives where, 

whose grandfather lives where. 

They them self would talk to the caller, they were not just telephone operators. They would inquire about the health and family of the caller, they used to talk a lot. 

The essence of this relationship has been affected. Why is it affected? Because materialistic things have become important. See, the more comfort we add in our life, there would be a cost to it. We need to identify that cost. We are adding comfort on what cost, we need to identify that. 

I tell you when you buy a very comfortable sofa and complain, 'My children are not active' You have provided one of its reasons by buying an overly comfortable sofa because once you sit on it, it gets difficult to get up. 

In fact, we say, 'After sitting on this sofa I feel like not getting up If you have such things at your home which makes you inactive, you are being cruel on you own self (Nafs) with your money. 

You are pampering and over facilitating yourself. 

It can be a reasonably comfortable sofa, 

I am not saying that it should not be comfortable 

but it should not be the one that when, 

your mother calls you and you are unable to get up 

 because the sofa is very comfortable.

When your mother calls you for any reason 

and you do not want to go because of that sofa 

Then, between the call from mother and sofa 

there is a creative tension. 

"The glitter of modern civilization dazzles the sight; 

but this clever craftsmanship is a mosaic of false jewels." (Iqbal) 

May Allah forgive you and me, 

"Your sofas are from Europe, your carpets from Iran; 

This bodily ease of the youth evokes my sigh of pity." (Iqbal) 

This is our problem, 

May Allah make it easy for us. 

Therefore I think, the reason why it is difficult to excel in relationships. 

There are multiple reasons to it, such as 

modernity, which is a general reason, but 

specifically materialism and luxury. 

We have made our islands and we are happy living like this. 

The example that I gave. 

This happened in 40 Years, I have shared the experience of 40 years ago from 1980 Now there are much more families in our neighborhood then beforeand every home now have, I think on an average 8-10 phones, but that connection is missing.